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When Suzie Sneezed

by Barry Louis Polisar

A friend of mine came by last night
Said, "Come on out and join the fight
Between Robert and Richard and Susan and Jimmy
'Cause they just started beating up Timmy
'Cause Timmy hit Billy who just hit Steve
When Steve hit Laura after Jack and Johnny
Hit Tommy and Richard hit Emily
Who accidentally pushed Debbie when Suzie Sneezed."

It sounded pretty strange what he wanted me to do
'Cause I didn't even know Richard or Sue.
I said, "That's crazy. That's just nuts;
To fight someone who doesn't know us."
Then he started talking 'bout tanks and guns
How I should just go and join the fun.
He said, "Just go and beat up Jim
'Cause Jim hit me after I hit him.
When Timmy hit Billy who just hit Steve
When Steve hit Laura after Jack and Johnny
Hit Tommy and Richard hit Emily
Who accidentally pushed Debbie when Suzie Sneezed."

So I said, "What would happen if you tell Jimmy
You're sorry you hit him and that he hit Timmy.
Maybe Timmy would go and shake Billy's hand
Hopefully some day, they'll understand
'Cause what's gonna happen if you don't do that
Will be Johnny and Jack are gonna wanna get you back
Then you and Timmy will go beat up Bill
Who'll turn around tomorrow and want to kill
You and him and Debbie and Steven and Jack
And then one day one of you will try to get him back
Because Timmy hit Billy who just hit Steve
When Steve hit Laura after Jack and Johnny
Hit Tommy and Richard hit Emily
Who accidentally pushed Debbie when Suzie Sneezed."

Well he thought that over for a moment or two
Then he said, "I bet I can beat up you."
I said, "No, you can't 'cause I won't fight."
I turned around and smiled and said goodnight.
I heard that he left and pushed Tom to the ground
Who turned right around and knocked him down.
When he got up, he started fighting with Sue.
Now I'm the only one left to sing this song to you.
When Timmy hit Billy who just hit Steve
When Steve hit Laura after Jack and Johnny
Hit Tommy and Richard hit Emily
Who accidentally pushed Debbie when Suzie Sneezed.

Copyright by Barry Louis Polisar



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